When I was 15 years old, breastfeeding was the furthest thing from my mind, I just wanted smaller breasts. I went from a 44E to a 38B (yes, clearly I was in the wrong band size pre-surgery. I didn’t know about special ordering bras, so I was just in the biggest I could get at the local department store. If my band size was really a 38, I must have actually been a 38H). When I got pregnant, I did the research and knew I wanted to try breastfeeding. The first few months were a struggle, I had to take supplements, pump, and give my son extra formula feedings, but I eventually found my stride. At 19 months, it was pretty smooth sailing and we were both loving breastfeeding, so has anything changed?
Not significantly. The last couple months, I have started wondering about weaning. Oliver still breastfeeds similarly to how he did at 19 months. If we’re out and about, he doesn’t usually ask, but if we’re home, he wants the booby every 1-2 hours. Actually, if we’re out and I sit down, he often wants the breast too. I’ve started trying to deter him, like when we were at the bank opening a savings account for him, this just didn’t feel like an appropriate time. Sometimes he’s okay with this and just goes on to something else, and sometimes he throws a temper tantrum if he can’t have the booby right then and there.
I don’t think weaning will be happening any time soon, at least from his side. He can be demanding, which makes me wonder if I should just wean, but I’m not sure if life would really be easier if he didn’t breastfeed. He wouldn’t have that outlet for comfort and stress relief. Sure, he’d find other outlets, but I might be dealing with more temper tantrums too, not something I really want to replace breastfeeding with. I also don’t want to damage his trust in me by forcing weaning on him. Sometimes I’m shocked by just how much he trusts me. He jumps off walls and into pools, completely trusting that I’ll catch him. While not uncommon, I’ve seen kids that don’t trust their parents enough to do these things (it could just be a personality thing too). I don’t want to do anything that could lesson his trust in me, I’m honored by it.
Oliver also doesn’t sleep through the night without feeding yet, and instead of decreasing, his frequency of waking has seemed to increase lately. If I’m at the computer working, I can expect 2-3 visits from him after his bedtime and before I even get into bed. We’ll be spending our first night apart in three weeks, two nights in fact, when I go to a blogger meetup in Munich for the weekend. I have no idea how this is going to go over. Maybe he’ll be fine with me gone and just accept the fact that there’s no booby. Or maybe he’ll be inconsolable (I really hope not, for everyone’s sake). Perhaps this pressure I’m putting on him not to breastfeed sometimes is the reason for his increased night frequency. Maybe it’s making him a little insecure.
Still, I’m pretty happy with breastfeeding, and feel the benefits outweigh the costs at this point. But I’ve reached my goal of two years, now we’re just taking things one day at a time.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s nice to hear an open stream of consciousness about nursing past two years. I am interested in knowing how he reacts to your trip.
I was worried about Clair when I had to spend a night in the hospital, but she didn’t give her daddy any problems. I think that fact that I wasn’t there helped her lose the desire to nurse. Since she has started daycare (only two days a week), she nurses less. Now that she is on a break from daycare, she is nursing more frequently again. With her personality, I think nursing has more to do with access than need. Her other coping mechanisms work just fine when I am not around from what I’ve been told by the care givers at daycare and from my husband. We are thinking of having daddy go in to help her calm down when she wakes in the night to see if that helps her sleep through again (for some reason she stopped sleeping through a few months ago - or maybe quite a while ago. it is all a blur).
Good luck with the little booby lover.
We are still nursing. I keep thinking the milk will dry up while I travel for work, but so far it is sticking around (without pumping). Weaning is a whole ‘nother issue… it’s complicated!
BTW— your post reminded me of my own 2 years of nursing post. Maybe it is time for me to do a 2.5 year? I might just wait until 3… whether or not he is nursing any more at that point, I cannot predict.
http://mariawj.blogspot.com/2008/12/two-years-of-nursing.html