My 2 year old son Oliver eats just about everything. The other day, Janda and I had lunch at Aran here in Regensburg, and Oliver had fresh German whole grain bread spread half with tomato-garlic spread and the other half with a tuna-artichoke mix. He’s eaten caviar, blood sausage, raw onion, boiled beef with horseradish, spicy mustard, Thai curry, Indian curry, veal sweetbreads, and just about anything else we’ve offered.
We have friends whose daughters will only eat spaghetti with Heinz ketchup. They even have to pack the ketchup in their suitcase on trips to grandma’s house because she doesn’t have the right kind of ketchup. My husband’s nephew only ate potatoes and cheese pizza until he was 14.
What makes a kid a picky eater, and what makes them adventurous?
The New York Times says it’s genetic, that kids inherit their pickiness from their parents. I haven’t had time to read carefully through the study cited, but given that it’s a twin study with twins raised together in the same home, I’m not sure how they can determine what is cause by genetics and what is caused by environment (since the twins share both).
It’s possible I’m just really lucky and have a kid genetically predisposed to be adventurous, or it may be that the way we feed Oliver has something to do with it. Actually, I think it’s likely a combination of the two.
Janda and I discussed this topic over lunch and came up with some ideas.
- Breastfeeding - A formula fed baby is going to be fed the same thing several times a day for the first several months of life. It wouldn’t surprise me that the child would grow up to be wary of new flavors. But, we adults aren’t all adventurous eaters. Most people stick to their favorites and don’t experiment a lot with new flavors. So breastfed babies may not even be exposed to that wide a variety of flavors, although it would still be more than formula fed babies. Personally, I’m fairly adventurous, and made a conscious effort to eat a wide variety of flavors through pregnancy and the first year of breastfeeding, since I knew the flavors passed on to the baby, and a varied diet is a better source of vitamins and minerals than supplements (I still took supplements though). I tried not to buy the same fruits and vegetables from one week to the next. I picked up things I’d never had before and ordered dishes I’d never thought to try at restaurants. I made some new favorites that way, and it was a great learning experience for me.
- Eating together - We got a Stokke Tripp Trapp high chair so Oliver could sit at the table with us for dinner. We never fed him separately. He was always together with us at the table enjoying our company (and we enjoying his). Oliver hates not eating with us and protests very loudly if he’s put into a conventional high chair with a tray.
- Eating the same thing - I’m too lazy to even consider making separate meals for everyone. Oliver had (organic) baby food from a jar unless he could eat whatever we were having for dinner. (I did try making baby food once, but he wouldn’t touch it). So soups came early, then pasta, vegetables, and finally meats. We don’t force anything on him, we just stay relaxed, enjoy our food and let him choose what he wants to eat from what is on the table. We’ve never had a problem with this method, he eats a lot.
- Food is a treat - Food, to us, is something special. We stop our days and enjoy our meals together, eating high quality, tasty food. I learned this after working a short time in Italy. Everyone stopped what they were doing when they ate. You never saw people walking down the street with a sandwich or coffee. There were no calories ingested without thought. I do still sometimes eat on the go, but I try to make meals a special occasion as often as possible. I think our child sees this enjoyment and emulates us. If food is just sustenance, there isn’t any reason to be adventurous. This is a personal thing. Some people really enjoy food, some people are into other things.
I can’t promise that doing these things will make a child an adventurous eater. Even foodies have picky kids. But perhaps these ideas can be food for thought. And here’s one more story:
Oliver never ate cheese. I’d offer it to him on bread or alone and he’d always hand it back. I figured he just didn’t like cheese. But then last week, we went to France and came home with a cooler of the stinkiest, yummiest, French cheeses we could get our hands on. Oliver was all over them. He tried all of the cheeses and asked for seconds and even thirds. If he doesn’t like German cheese, I don’t know what he’s going to think of American cheese!
There is something he won’t eat. Jello. If we eat jello, he looks at us like we’ve lost our minds.
Do you have picky or adventurous eaters? How do you handle it?
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I have an adventurous eater (she’s 15m). I only BF her for 3 weeks (she had major issues), so she was formula fed. Otherwise, my list looks a lot like yours. I did make her baby food – never bought a single jar. Instead of peaches, pear, green beans, peas, etc she had broccoli, black beans, malanga, mango, etc worked into her diet. I think that helped a lot.
The other thing that I think helps is that we don’t stress over food. I offer her most anything and she eats it. So far she doesn’t like zucchini, mushrooms, or pork chop (weirdo!), but she’ll eat most anything else. Even with the things she doesnt like, I still offer it in the hopes that one day she’ll like it! Anyway, Im so thankful for a good eater!!
I don’t know about the genetic part but you will see when you have a second child
Everything really! They were brought in the same way – same table habits…so go figure! 
My friend has a son and a daughter. Son, the elder, is extremely picky eater – and her daughter exactly like you are describing Oliver. The little girl is 6 now and even eats sushi!
In my case, i have a 7 year old daughter who was never really a picky eater until we moved to India. It’s been a year and I still have problems feeding her indian food. She does eat few items but none of them happily. Very frustrating
My 10 months old eats everything. Spicy as well. He loves to taste new things – he kind of really refuses or reluctantly eats the organic food from the jars but is happy to have indian lentil soups (dhals) with rice, chapatis, curd rice, sambar, rasam…anything i give him, really. He was born here though and i guess he has not left any favorite food behind like my daughter did
From my experiences i would really incline towards the notion that it is all in our genes when it comes to food pickines
I’m a believer in genetics about this. Of course environment plays a part, but only in enhancing the already present disposition. So if you have a ‘picky’ eater and stress out and force the issue, then it’ll make them more suspicious about food.
I’m very relaxed, offer variety, she sits with us, etc, etc, but nope, she’s not interested (she’s 17mths).
If I correlate this with other behaviours it fits. Firstly, she was never a mouth baby (my term). Most babies put everything in their mouths right? Non-mouth babies are the minority – they don’t. And every non-mouth baby I’ve known has been slow at starting solids, and sometimes, but not always, is also a picky eater.
I think that a relaxed environment and other positive factors are best for the over-reaching pyschological effect rather than any specific influence over pickiness.
My 4 year old daughter fortunately eats everything we eat. I love to cook all kinds of dishes and being Japanese-Brazilian and with an American husband who lived many years in Asia, our meals are pretty multi-cultural. Our daughter loves “farofa” (Brazilian manioc toasted flour with bacon and corn), “natto” (Japanese fermented soy beans), thai curries, okra with sesame seed paste dressing, etc… I believe in the fact that pickiness can come from picky parents… Hopefully she will stay this way!
I had to chuckle with this post because one kid eats everything… and his younger brother manages to survive on “air”!!! They are opposite in many, many ways and this is just one of them.
Older one hates jello, mashed potatoes and thing of similarly mushy or jiggly texture. …Younger ones loves anything of the baby food/mashed/jiggly consistency. He eats milk, yogurt, carbs of the cracker/pretzel/bread variety, and many fruits. But, he is very inconsistent. Eats banana one day, won’t touch it the next. Won’t even try/taste some foods (black beans, any meat, any tofu/soy/veggie burger, cheese, rice etc. etc. endless list). Yet he LOVED quinoa!!! Loves cheese toast, but won’t eat plain unmelted cheese. This is crazy to me! Nevertheless, its what’s so.
My advice is to keep offering foods, don’t stress, don’t force it. Try to serve at least one thing they’ll eat and add others. Books say kids may need to get served something 15-20 times before they’ll eat it. Older kid has gotten pickier with age, though… which has been interesting! You cannot force a kid to eat or poop on the potty…alas, this may be maddening, but forcing it doesn’t work. It’s unfortunately their choice!
I have one very picky eater and one adventurous eater.
My picky eater who gags on everything and has trouble chewing things (will spend 30 minutes chewing a piece of meat or a gummy bear), was also the one who had trouble breastfeeding (difficulty latching). I’m beginning to think that he has some sort of general aversion to things in his mouth.
I have a picky eater and a more adventurous eater. I’m hoping the adventurous one stays that way but who knows.
I do think that my husband and I need to try to broaden our own food horizons so our girls can see us eating a wide variety of foods. But it’s hard. By the time you get home from work there is so little time left in the evening before bedtime and I don’t really enjoy cooking.
Maybe I will win the lottery and I can hire a chef
Mine is right in the middle, some things he likes some not. Which is right in the middle, I’ll eat almost anything but his father is very picky.
I’m joining the ranks of those who have one of each. My 5yo has been very picky since about age 2. My 3yo will try anything. So far the only thing I’ve seen him refuse consistanly is cucumbers.
They were raised the same way as far as food is concerned and have the same parents. My 3yo was primarily breastfed for 7 months and my 5yo only for 2 months. But I’m a pretty conservative eater so I’m not convinced that made a huge difference. But that said, I’m going to try to be more adventurous in my eating with the baby that is due any day now, just in case.
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