I thought for my 26-week pregnancy update, I’d tell the story of how, because of hyperemesis gravidarum, Oliver and I ended our breastfeeding relationship.
While much of the first six months of breastfeeding Oliver was spent trying to make it week to week, I always had the WHO guideline of breastfeeding for at least two years as a goal in the back of my mind. When he turned two in July of 2009, neither of us were ready to quit. Oliver was still quite dependent on breastfeeding for comfort, and I was happy to continue.
When I got pregnant again in September of 2009, breastfeeding started to become uncomfortable as my nipples got more and more sensitive. Oliver was still nursing frequently, so I kept going, keeping in mind the difficulty I had getting my supply going in the beginning with Oliver because of his sleepiness and BFAR (breastfeeding after reduction surgery). I knew that if I had trouble with breastfeeding this baby, I wouldn’t have to spend hours a day pumping to get my supply up if I had a toddler, a nursing toddler is way more efficient at increasing supply than any pump.
Unfortunately, first trimester morning sickness progressed to hyperemesis gravidarum (excessive nausea and vomiting) and I cut back a lot on breastfeeding sessions as I became fatigued by my lack of nutrition. By the end of October, my supply was gone. I wasn’t getting enough calories to produce milk anymore.
I don’t remember when our last nursing session was. I was too exhausted to notice. Oliver took well to weaning. If he asked, I told him I didn’t feel well enough, but he didn’t really ask a lot. Since then he has only asked once or twice, when he was sick and feverish. He said, “Booby?” and I said, “No honey, I’m sorry,” and that was that. There was no disappointment on his part, just acceptance. I was a little surprised by the ease of weaning, given how dependent on breastfeeding he had seemed.
I don’t really have any feelings on weaning. There was nothing I could do about it. I guess I wish I remembered that last time, but I know a lot of moms don’t remember the last breastfeeding session.
We cuddle a lot, as much as when we were breastfeeding. His favorite place to sit is in my lap, we’ll have to see how that goes as my lap gets smaller and smaller.
Apart from that, not much has changed in my condition. I’m still tired and nauseous almost all the time. I’ve been trying to do more recently, and that has caused me to vomit more than I had been over the last couple of weeks. I’m trying to stay positive, but mood swings sometimes get the best of me.
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This made me tear up. My son is 10 months old and I not planning to wean him until I feel he is really ready, and hopefully not before he is 2. I believe your son was ready to wean. You are such a strong mother.
Both of my kids self-weaned when they started to walk. Life away from me suddenly became more interesting and accessible, and they just stopped. By 9 months (both walking but not well!), it was just morning and evening feedings. By 11 months, they were done. I’d put them in my lap and ask about nursing, and both would squirm to get away and not even be looking at my breast. (What a change from the days when they would lift my shirt and/or just dive on! LOL). I don’t remember exact dates, as it was fairly gradual… and then they would cry if I suggested nursing or stop asking.
While part of me was sad, part of me was overjoyed. Nursing brings a certain bond and closeness, but I’d gotten my body back to myself– it was a sense of freedom, to be able to go away for a day and not have to nurse or pump. It wasn’t nursing, though, that was such a drag. It was the breastpump. I was torturing myself to maintain supply past the point of it being productive in order to make it at least a year. With the second kid, I was a bit smarter and stocked the freezer sooner to stretch it out.
I had another friend have to take a medication for 3 weeks, and this required abrupt weaning at 5 months of her second child. There was not much she could do (she needed the medication) and the pump didn’t maintain the supply.
In my limited experiene, the kid who is sad/distraught about weaning is few and far between. It’s usually the parents who are sad. But clearly, some kids lose interest more quickly than others. I was shocked how quickly my kids lost interest.
@jennifer: I think you’re right, he was ready to wean, or at least understood why I needed him to wean.
@rachael: Breastfeeding and pumping was such a chore, but I really enjoyed breastfeeding Oliver as a toddler. I think at that point, you don’t need to be inseparable anymore. It’s interesting how different kids are as to when they wean. I do know a couple kids who weren’t ready and still make a fuss about it even a year later, but you’re right, most kids deal with weaning fine. You can never predict how a child is going to feel about it.